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Early Signs of Depression

I often wondered if I was born with the tendency of depression.  I asked my Mom last night what she could remember about my behavior that would be an indicator of depression.  Here is what I learned:

Age 3
Mom's spontaneous hug and kiss attempt often resulted in my response:
"Mom don't kiss me"
I earned the label "moody" which stuck with me 'till puberty.
My parents dismissed this sign and attributed it to me being independent, smart, opinionated and the likes.

Age 5
I was often found as a center of attention 'lecturing' others.  I used my wit and reasoning ability to keep people at arms length.

Age 7
First grade offered another platform to perfect my craft distancing myself from others.  I used every opportunity to show that I was different than the rest both in mental abilities and behavior.  While I loved the 'admiration' of my peers, I was also bored with them.  I was seeking adult acceptance.

Age 8
In an attempt to write a short story, I wrote this sentence:
"I have everything but I'm still not happy."

Age 8-12
I developed coping mechanisms like:
over eating
being in love (yes, my teacher called in my Mom to explain that I am in love)
shining in everything from sports to music to academic performance
seeking out brilliant people's (adults) approval
taking up smoking
staying up late
telling fantastic stories (lying)
manipulating people for the sake of manipulation
using sarcasm to convey my unhappiness (it was interpreted as adult humor)

Age 12
I knew I had depression!
I told my Mom "Just let me be, I'm depressed."
She thought I was kidding but left me alone and that was enough for the time being.

So there you go!  Some of us just have the tendency for depression.

Today, I manage depression successfully and hope to impart some of learning to others' benefit.


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