Skip to main content

What's holding you back from healing

So you've been depressed for months or years... and no matter what you tried, you hover on the bottom with a few periods of somewhat better times.

There is no one answer to why YOU are stuck in the vicious cycle but chances are, it falls into one or more of the below categories.

You may have a genetic disposition to depression (I wrote about this before). Truthfully, if you have it, then depression will always be a part of your life. BUT, it is not a reason to always feel bad or give up on having a relatively peaceful mental state. However, you need to look at it as a condition like any other (like ADD, diabetes, whatever) that you can manage. So, shift your mindset from curing to managing!

You've tried therapy, medication, behavioral changes (good or damaging), mind over matter tactics, coping mechanisms, self-medication, environmental and social changes, and everything you could think of... but nothing gave permanent relief. Why? Because your efforts focused on relieving/eliminating depression rather than the state of well being. I didn't get this for a long time (more precisely, 40 years). There is a huge difference between lessening depression and increasing wellness. Consider this: 'I'll eat chocolate to subdue depression symptoms' versus 'I'll eat chocolate to increase my energy'. The act is the same but you tell yourself a completely different story. So, change the narrative from depression focus to wellness focus!

You have too many habits that feed the depression cycle. Most of us start out with coping which turn into habits in as little time as a month. The problem is that we become so comfortable with these habits that we do them unconsciously and defend them when challenged. If you ever heard yourself saying 'but it (snacking, watching YouTube, avoiding chores, etc.) helps me feel less depressed' then you have pervasive habits. Often these habits are reinforced by fear of change, maintaining comfort (enduring the known suffering is perceived less trouble than questioning it), simple unawareness of unsupportive habits, active defense of the habits, and a variety of reasoning and emotional attachment to habits. So, get real with habits and replace the outdated ones with new ones!

Spend a little time to figure out which of these factors drive your depression cycle and start changing them one step at a time. Do something every day to reinforce the change. It is a slow process but getting on the path of healing starts with one tiny act.

Love and healing to all of you!

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Depression SWOT Analysis

One of my special talents (no big head here just historical evidence) is translating and adopting seemingly unrelated concepts to solve problems. This is the context for sharing how I used a traditional business tool SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) to assess and plot a path out of depression. First off, using business tools for mental health is a great thing because it allows for taking the illness into a more pragmatic framework than traditional therapy approaches. Secondly, business concepts are known to many so there is an innate comfort in relating to them. Third, using a tool that is not psychological in nature may help put more emphasis on problem solving than illness identification. What I mean by this is a different viewpoint that focuses on current practices and options moving forward. So lets begin. SWOT is a staple of competitive analysis tools in business. You can read a good writeup here: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05.htm My adoptio
Post a Comment
Read more

Depression with Bidirectional Illnesses

Depression with Bidirectional Illnesses I've said this before... depression doesn't walk alone in most cases. The importance of this cannot be emphasized enough because the coexistence of conditions often lead to worsening conditions. The constant exposure/experience of the simultaneous illnesses often end up in competition for attention which feed the cycle and make things worse for both (or multiple conditions). While I cannot list all combinations in this post, I'd like to illustrate the point with some common occurrences. Depression and Insomnia It has been proven by research that insomnia is a huge risk factor for depression as well as a consequence of depression. This is not hard to understand. In layman terms, those of us who don't get enough sleep often experience lack of energy, memory problems, and a host of other symptoms that make normal functioning of body and mind difficult on a daily basis. The frustration with not being able to do all the thing
Post a Comment
Read more

Depression - 4 Daily Essentials

After almost a year of searching for, testing and developing practices to eliminate depression, I've come up with the most essential 4 that has the greatest impact. I'll keep this really simple. 1. Start the morning right (5-minutes) State out loud: I am the maker of my good day Make a list of 3 positive things you a thankful in your life Make a daily to-do list of 3 items (must, optional, just for me) Commit to make the day count for you (learn something, feel progress) 2. Reset when unwanted thoughts, events, whatever happens Make a list of 5-minute activities (water plants, load dish washer, sort laundry, send a message to a friend, walk around the block, window shop online for something specific, have a cup of tea, meditate, listen to a song/talk/audio book, etc.) Whenever you sense the onset of a downward feeling (usually a gut or heart squeeze) nip it immediately by doing one of the items from your list 3. Take a 15-minute 'me time' Create a playlist of meditation
Post a Comment
Read more