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For Loved Ones

A few words for those of you who support us...

Your attempts to cheer us up, drag us into social events, and make us 'happy' is not helping.  We understand that you want the best but it doesn't work.  The disinterest, lack of motivation, sadness, and other negative emotions have little to do with the outside world.

Here are a few things that work:
If you want to say something positive, say it in a logical rather than emotionally charged manner.
Give us small projects with no pressure to complete them, when done say thank you.
Acknowledge that we feel low without judgement or trying to fix it.
Offer to do something together (cook, play, movie, walk) but don't get disappointed if we turn it down.  Try again, we have better days.

Here are a few things that make us feel worse or just not helpful:
Saying we deserve love sounds supportive but we often don't relate so just avoid it.
Seeing too much cheerfulness is just a reminder of our current deficiency in feeling joy so share less.
Too many questions can get us down in a real hurry. Read the one word answer sign and stop.
Offering support is great but understand that you probably don't know what's good and bad for us. Listen for what we need and do what we ask even if it means stepping away.
Please don't offer advice unless we ask for it. Truth is, you probably don't get what we are going through and can only speak from the healthy mind perspective which we don't relate to or reject outright. 

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