Skip to main content

Digging out of the Depression Hole - Acknowledge

I'm back after many months to share the journey to digging myself out of a period of deeper than usual depression.  I hope that these posts will help some of you in your own journey.

I want to emphasize that deep depression is not something that happens at the time of causes.  It is a result of prolonged and piled up unresolved emotions and feelings.  Being functional keeps many of us dealing with the root causes when they occur.  Therefore, do not try to find causes of depression in current situations, the damage happened in the past.  I wrote this as an 8-year-old: I have everything but I am just not happy. Well, you may have everything okay right now but the past has caught up with you.  Like when I had cancer... I was taking the treatments like a champ but 6 months later I fell into a deep depression. Emotions have a lag time.

Depression is not new to me as I have suffered it my entire life (at least all of it that I can remember). Naturally, I've dug myself out of it many times but being experienced does not make episodes any easier. The process is generally the same with some variations depending on current situations.

So, let me start with how I make up my mind to recover...

Recognize the symptoms:
Tiredness, low energy, fatigue
Weight change (in my case: gain)
Lack of motivation (dragging to do anything)
Body aches
Lack of joy
Sleeping problems
Food cravings
Concentration issues
Stuck in the rut feeling (but not wanting to change)
Feeling helpless
And so on...

These symptoms are not a huge deal individually but taken together are a sure sign of depression. The problem is that we dismiss each of them by explanations for a long time which causes them to pile up and render us dysfunctional.

Examples:
I'm tired because I didn't sleep well
My body aches because of weather, lack of / too much exercise, aging, etc.
I'm unmotivated because of boring job, nothing new in family or social life, lack of ideas
I can't concentrate because of distractions (even though we create our own), just not into it, physical fatigue

The point here is the circular reasoning that our minds tell us which leads to a downward spiral of depression.

Recovery always starts with the acknowledgement that I have reached a point when I MUST do something.  This happens in the brain on a logical level much earlier than in the heart. We intuitively know that somethings is wrong but it takes a while to be emotionally ready to actually do something about it.  In my case, the time between the two is probably a bit shorter than for newbies because I've been here before many times which accelerates the process a bit.  Again, circumstances can slow down or speed up this time period.

I have reached the congruence between my brain and heart now so the work of rebuilding can start.

I'll share my journey with tricks and tips in the hope of helping all of you who read this.

Depression does not define you!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Functional but Blue

Many of us with depression are highly functional which makes it even more difficult to decide on getting help. You don't have to go very far to see what I mean.  Michael Phelps is arguably the greatest swimmer in history and also a spokesperson for talkspace , an online platform that offers convenient and affordable therapy. Functional doesn't mean healthy! Finding joy in our everyday activities, looking forward to the next hour and things that are coming, waking up with drive, and feeling no dread/fear/anxiety about what's coming is where your life could be... so start walking the depression road one step at the time. Tip: Put yourself to the test! 1. Ask yourself each evening what portion of the day you spent feeling that you did chores (this is not the activity but the general feeling of having to do rather than wanting to do). 2. Keep tabs for two week. 3. If you spend more than half of your time this way, it is time to change something and feel better. Only
Post a Comment
Read more

Depression with Bidirectional Illnesses

Depression with Bidirectional Illnesses I've said this before... depression doesn't walk alone in most cases. The importance of this cannot be emphasized enough because the coexistence of conditions often lead to worsening conditions. The constant exposure/experience of the simultaneous illnesses often end up in competition for attention which feed the cycle and make things worse for both (or multiple conditions). While I cannot list all combinations in this post, I'd like to illustrate the point with some common occurrences. Depression and Insomnia It has been proven by research that insomnia is a huge risk factor for depression as well as a consequence of depression. This is not hard to understand. In layman terms, those of us who don't get enough sleep often experience lack of energy, memory problems, and a host of other symptoms that make normal functioning of body and mind difficult on a daily basis. The frustration with not being able to do all the thing
Post a Comment
Read more

Depression and Self-Sabotage

It is completely okay to acknowledge that we are struggling with depression! The problem starts when such acknowledgement turns into self-sabotaging habits. Have you skipped exercise one day which turned into days? How about getting take-out food rather than cooking which led to eating out most days? Habits start with an good and necessary decision to take a break from something that is repeated.  This happens when we don't put a limit on the behavior. Here are some examples and possible solutions to depression created self-perpetuating habits in no particular order. Oversleeping Sleep is necessary and wonderful for regenerating the body. However, when we sleep more than our body needs, it can turn into sluggishness. Depression often makes us try to hide from our pain and suffering for which sleep is a 'perfect' solution... for a few times but repeated use will have diminishing positive effect and increasing inability to get out of the vicious cycle of depression
Post a Comment
Read more